hi!!! i'm ben. i like mike and ikes, i like drawing, i like singing, and i like you because you're looking at my website. (i don't sing too loud because i don't want to get caught)
legal name: john benjamin schuyler glenander
age: 20
gender: boyly thing. he/him
smartness level: it goes so big that it goes up into the sky. but it goes back down again and into STUPID. STUPID boy.
residence: an off-white room somewhere in lackawanna county, pennsylvania
nature: evil
likes: bugs
dislikes: bad bugs
hipster meter: danger
color: browwn
song: the national anthem of the united states of america
shape: □
birthday: mine
key on the piano: the big one
pastime: talking about myself
which: yanny (can hear laurel)
which: brainstorm (cannot hear green needle)
dress color: white and gold (knows it's actually black and blue)
tits or ass: when she is nise to me and makes me happey.
communist or normal: communist
woke or normal: woke
gay or normal: well...
what's wrong with you?
i don't know. that's part of the problem, honestly.
what the hell does this drawing mean?
nothing.
what's this song about?
it's about how much my life sucks.
you're not one of those pro-shippers, are you?
no. i hate all ships equally. if you ship characters together i think you're weird.
wow, you're REALLY attractive. are you single?
well thank you, but i'm taken.
what if i have a question that isn't one of these?
email me. lbhf4u@gmail.com. it can be about anything. just email me please i'm really lonely. it doesn't have to be important. please
please feel free to use this website's benix clock for any purposes. it displays, down to the hour, how old i am. (it doesn't update in real time, though, only when the page is loaded)
direct all inquiries to lbhf4u@gmail.com.