Fun Factory (2024)

amount of swear words:
longest word: "anthropomorphic" (A Duel to the Death!)
slowest song: "Flame Hymn" (80 bpm)
fastest song: "Lyle" (162 bpm)
longest song: "Brain Eating Disease" (3:42)
shortest song: "Lyle" (0:58)
least words: "Flame Hymn" (48)
most words:

(one, two, three, four)

i went on down to the novelty shop
didn't have much, i didn't spend a lot
i bought myself a new pet rock

and when i opened the instructions i couldn't read them
'cause they were all written in japanese and
now i don't know what the hell to feed him

runnin' around in the dead of night
burnin' up leaves to waste our time
it's hard to see but that's alright
you cut me out and you leave me to dry

you know (i've been kickin' back)
i never thought it would be this easy (followin' the worlds rules, you know?)
but it is (it's workin' out well for me)
and i did it (i think it was some monk or something who said, like,)
in fact, you could even say it's so easy, that it's a piece of cake (expect nothing, work for everything)
or pie, if you prefer (i just think that it's a nice thing to live by. it's nice and... concise.)

and when you talk you say that i don't listen
i hear your words but i don't listen
they go in one ear and out the other

runnin' around in the dead of night
burnin' up leaves to waste our time
it's hard to see but that's alright
you cut me out and you leave me to dry

runnin' around in the dead of night
burnin' up leaves to waste our time
it's hard to see but that's alright
you cut me out and you leave me to dry
runnin' around in the dead of night (you cut me out and you leave me to dry)
burnin' up leaves to waste our time (you cut me out and you leave me to dry)
it's hard to see but that's alright (you cut me out and you leave me to dry)
you cut me out-

leave me
won't you leave me to tend to my flame
it's too small
but it's mine all the same

it's mine
mine
mine

i know
let me keep it alive
it's too small
but if i leave it i leave it to die

it's mine
mine
mine

uh
nuh-dah (na-da-da)
huh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh
nuh-dah (na-da-da)
huh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh
nuh-ha (na-da-da)
buh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh
uh-nuh-nuh-uh uh uh uh (na-da-da)
ooh
nuh-whoa
ooh
hrraaahh
ooh
andah
ooh
h-nuh, ooh
huh

stupid... piece o'... shit. fuckin'-- god-DAMMIT! agh!
...fuckin' kill someone!
hey, terry. what's with all the hullabaloo?
it's this stupid skull, i've been trying to crack it open for the past 3 hours and it just won't budge! i'm hungry! i need my lunch!
huh. well, lemme see, how rotten is it?
rotten??? no, i picked it fresh. why would i buy a rotten head?
well there you go, that's the problem you didn't wait long enough. it's too ripe, too fresh, y'know? you gotta let it rot a bit, then you can eat it.
why would i ever eat it rotten?!
you know, when it's rotting, the skin peels right off. it tastes just the same, even better, even. (eww.)
that's disgusting. what's wrong with you?
nothing's wr-- ...you didn't e-- you didn't know this?
no! i didn't!
...you're supposed t-- how did you not know?!
i don't eat these things that often.
sheesh, you really need to eat healthier.
what?! i eat fine.
heads are an important part of your diet.
no.
they're on MyPlate.
what's MyPlate?
it's uh, like a government-sponsored infographic showing you all the food groups you need to eat to stay healthy. i thought you would have at least seen it at, like, school or something, but... (i'm fine.) well, i guess you don't care about being healthy.
i am healthy-- wh-- how much longer until i can eat this, then?
aahhhh couple days, looks like?
what?! but i'm hungry now!
well, find another one, dude! seems like an easy problem to solve.
no, this is the only one i bought!
alright-- alright, i'm not doing this right now. i'm leavin'. (fine, go.) alright, see ya.
jeez... asshole.

i just got a letter from the HRA
i don't have to open it i know what they'll say
it's not up to snuff, they go
i don't know my stuff, they go
so i throw all my letters away (hey!)
'cause i just

grab what i want and i leave what i don't
i'm not a super adventurous guy
i don't listen to albums, i listen to songs
why the hell am i supposed to know why

shouldn't i be going it alone
shouldn't i be building my tastes on my own
why do i need a score
what do you even listen to music for

(in rainbows!) every day you must incorporate at least one album with a four point star average (spiderland!)
on rate your music into your listening diet.
(to pimp a butterfly!) otherwise you will be banned from our music discussion circle, and be labeled a tasteless hack. (lift yr skinny fists like antennas to heaven!)

can't seem to get it through
what it is i want to do
thinking colors and drawing blanks
i can't get this in late
eyes on screen, fingers on press
i must create but my brain says not yet

you say i have somethin' then you leave me at the door
i gave you all this effort just to leave me crying on the floor

was it really worth it
signing all the papers
i don't think i want it
i'll take care of it later

it's not worth it, i can't do it
it's too late now

hello?
dylan?
uh, hang on, lemme check, i'm not sure... uhhhhh
dylan?
yeah.
...what?
SHHH! shut up! hey, real quick, how do you spell "repertoire"?
repert- oh, i forget.
there goes my evening.
hey, listen, uh... you're allergic to eggs, right?
yes. like, severly allergic. they will kill me.
ghhhhhhh, huh... fuckin'... god dammit.
why?
i just... i forgot, and i made a shit ton of meringue.
...what?
meringue? i made so much, god fucking- it's unbelievable.
why did you do that?
you know those mixing bowls that you, like, make brownies in?
yeah?
filled the whole fuckin' thing up.
why?!
i d- i don't know! i just saw that we had a bunch of eggs in the fridge, and i decided to make meringue.
to put on what?
what?
like for what? like, as a topping for what? meringue's a topping, right? like, you use that to fill pies and shit.
i was just gonna eat it. straight.
isn't it, like, a frosting though?
sorta.
okay. so you used up all the eggs to make meringue. what now?
...uh... do you know any recipes that use, like, a shit ton of meringue?
n- no, i don't- i'm hanging up.
dylan, no, no- don't hang up. come on.
no. bye.
no, please, help me. dylan, you can't leave me like this.
have fun with your meringue.
dylan, i'm sorry, bye. wait-

i work from 9 to 5 to keep myself alive, man i'm so stressed out
gotta pay my rent, gotta pay my bills, i can't get kicked out

day to day
it's all the same
nothing to lose
nothing to gain
wakin' up
goin' to sleep
goin' to work
gettin' somethin' to eat

i work 5 to 9, i lose track of time, i really wanna clock out
i've gotta eat, i am losing sleep, i can't get kicked out

day to day
it's all the same
nothing to lose
nothing to gain
wakin' up
goin' to sleep
goin' to work
gettin' somethin' to eat

i'll be shot out of a cannon
into the rayleigh scattered sky
i'll be naturally buried
what do you mean i won't be there when i die

what?! no!
let me give this another go
stop! no!
let me come back just for another second, ohhhhhhhhh FUCK!

i'll be visited by family
and a vigil will be held for me online
they'll have such nice things to say about me
what do you mean i won't be there when i die

what?! no!
let me give this another go
stop! no!
let me come back just for another second, ohhhhhhhhh fiddlesticks!

ninethousandandone ninethousandandtwo... where did like all my unrest CDs go?
hey dylan!
yo.
i made a new sketch, i want you to check it out.
alright, give it to me.
okay, i wanted to do a parody of those scenes in, like, movies and TV where they do these awful mexican stereotypes for no reason.
sounds pretty good.
yeah i think it turned out good, lemme get it. ...(don't touch my-) oop, heheh, wrong video...
oh, okay.
here we go.
(singing "jarabe tapatio" in background) uh, hola, señor. i'd like a, uh, erm, a burrito?
(in lower voice) sí, muchacho. that will be dos pesos, por favor.
erm, muy bien, señor.
gracias. what would you like on your... taco
(sigh) w-wow, ben, that was really accurate to the stereotypes with the sombrero, and the poncho, and the stick-on mustache... and the fuckin' maracas.
heh, yeah, i decided to go all in. it was a fun costume to put together.
yeah, well, you- you're not really illustrating a point or anything, you're just doing the stereotype but again.
...
...BEN, YOU SPOKE FAUX SPANISH AND DRESSED UP LIKE A MEXICAN.
well, ironically.

randy shot guns to avoid the needle
he didn't go out, he didn't talk to people
'tween next door neighbors and barfly laborers
nobody knew who he was

startled awake in the night by a dream
a violent compulsion to be on tv
he read about public access on the web
and he said

my name is randy
i'm a wreck and i've been failed by the world
if you knew me back in the aughties give me a ring
he said

my name is randy
i'm a wreck and i've been fooled by the world
if you knew me back in the aughties give me a ring

and it didn't do anything
he hadn't got his hopes up but it didn't do anything
it didn't do anything

i've seen her once or twice and she always warmed my heart
she's had me caught by the brain from the very start
deep in my chest, love for her is all i got
i try to reach her but i simply cannot

(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) she's wearing a signal blocker
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) she's wearing a signal blocker
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) she's wearing a signal blocker
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) she's wearing a signal blocker

strapped to her chest, it's a-blockin' all my lovewaves
makin' me ache in my heart, and ache in my brain
oh, lady baby, can't you see you're supposed to be all mine
without your love i will surely die

(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) she's wearing a signal blocker
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) she's wearing a signal blocker
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's)
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's)
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) can't you see you're driving me crazy
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) that you refuse to be my baby
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) you block me out and you leave me cold
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) i'll be alone 'til i'm dying and old

oh, lucy, can't you see
maybe you're not meant for me
yet still i'll try and try
'cause i really want you to be mine

(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) she's wearing a signal blocker
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) she's wearing a signal blocker
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) she's wearing a signal blocker
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) she's wearing a signal blocker
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) she's wearing a signal blocker
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) she's wearing a signal blocker
(she's wearing a, she's wearing a, she's) she's wearing a signal blocker

hey, ben. drink this.
what is it?
it's fruit punch. really good fruit punch.
hm. alright.
fucking idiot! hahahahahahahaha!
mm, wow, oh my god! mm!
uh- ...ben? ...ben.
w-wow, that is really somethin'! what is- wh-what brand is this? i'm gonna have to stock up on this, wow!
that was fabuloso.
ha, i agree, dude! muy fabuloso indeed, yeah!
no, th- no, no. i'm being serious. you just drank half a container of fabuloso
half a container? ...so you have more of this stuff?
no, that- ...that-
let me see it.
no, that's not the point. you just drank half a container of fucking floor cleaner, ben.
...yeah?
it's not meant for human consumption!
ha! clearly. this was made by the gods and the gods alone.
god da- no, you were supposed to spit it out, you were supposed to go "ppplffEEEW what is this?!" and now we have to go to the fucking hospital and get your stomach pu--
dylan. you look at me and you listen to me right now. never before in my life have i tasted something as fantastically delicious as that glass of fabuloso. you have given me the nectar of the gods and i want more. everything i consume after this point will pale in comparison to the glorious floor cleaner. go get me the rest of the bottle, right. now. pleaseandthankyou.
...okay, fine. jesus. (runs and gets it) got it! (runs back)
YES! okay before i drink it you have to try some, dude, you have to.
i'm not going to drink soap.
dylaaaaan, try sooooome.
fine. 'kay. (drinks some) oh my god.
yeah, see, come on, i knew you'd like it. you see what i'm talkin' about now, right?
yeah, no, no, this is, like-- this is, like, the best thing ever. like, this could cause world peace, i think, probably. HOLY SHIT.

doctor says to stay home
i've got a rare and incurable disease
they said
they said it doesn't do a thing but it still leaves you insane
how peculiar, a brain eating disease
that leaves
no sign it ever was there at all

doctor says to worry
it's far too complex to even perceive
they said
they said it doesn't do a thing but it still keeps you afraid
how peculiar, a brain eating disease
that may
not even be a disease at all

(garble)

hey, dylan! (what?) check out what i got!
are those guns?
flintlocks. got 'em for 25 bucks a pop behind the YMCA. they still work and everything. i even got some powder and shot for them, (why?) it's gonna be awesome!
what's gonna be awesome?
what do you mean? oh, yeah, i forgot! dylan, i challenge you to a duel!
what?
to the death!
why?!
because i'm sick and tired of you and your goons makin' fun of me all the time! you're never gonna let me live my "chubby furry babe" comment down, are you?
oh my god... no, i'm not. and that's not even the whole thing you said.
oh, come on.
██████████████████████████████." no no no, you said, and i quote: "that's me and my chubby hyper f███████ anthropomorphic rabbit ████ who lets me s█████████████████████████████████████."
...jesus, how did you remember all that? i didn't even remember all that!
because it was fucking out of nowhere! and i think that merits an adequate amount of mocking!
oh, yeah? well, what about you, mister holier-than-thou, what kind of weird shit are you into that i can make fun of?
i'm not gonna tell you that!
that's not fair!
tough shit!
alright, i've had it. you grab a flintlock, and i grab a flintlock. we're going outside and havinaga duel to the death!
fine!

man, it's cold out.
it's a little nippy.
and those idiots still believe global warming is real...
...what?
...alright, no distractions! we stand back to back, walk 5 paces from each other, then, uh... uhhh... what happens next?
what are you lookin' at me for? this was your idea.
(sigh) oh my god, fine, i'll look it up real quick, gimme a sec. ...
god...
"how to do a duel"... (sigh) uhhhhhhh... what the hell? okay, wait, hold on...
ben.
pffff... blah blah blah blah...
ben.
...second? oh, we don't have one of those...
oh my god. ben!
alright yeah, hold on! ...ugh. alright, uh, let's just stand back to back, walk 20 paces from each other, and i'll give the signal to turn around.
that doesn't seem very fair.
i'll count down.
alright, whatever.
arright. back to baack... aaaand one. two. three. four. five. six. seven. eight. nine. ten. (this fuckin' guy...) whew! alright. c'mon, c'mon. big money, big money. alright! on "go"! three! (gets shot) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGWHAT THE HELLLLLLLL!
my finger slipped.
you disobeyed the rules of the duellll!
the duel was stupid anyways!
how can you say that?!
c'mon, get up. we're going to the hospital.
rnng! g- ough! oh- oh, DYLAN, I CAN'T GET UP, I'M BLEEDING SO BAD!
waaah, waaah! dude, you're the worst.
(various grunts and groans of pain) ow! careful!
shaddap.

i had a great time
i hope to see you again
it sucks that it's over
but i love being with you, my friend, so

don't be sad (don't be sad)
look at all the fun we had (look at all the fun we had)
don't be sad (don't be sad)
look at all the fun we had (look at all the fun)

chin up kid
i'm sure we're bound for more adventures ahead
if you're ever feeling blue like this
just remember what people think teddy geisel said

don't be sad (don't be sad)
look at all the fun we had (look at all the fun we had)
don't be sad (don't be sad)
look at all the fun we had (look at all the fun we had)

don't be sad (don't be sad)
look at all the fun we had (look at all the fun we had)
don't be sad (don't be sad)
don't be sad, look at all the fun we had (look at all the fun we had)