amount of swear words: 1
longest word: “Radiohead" (Henry's Watch)
slowest song: "Asbury Park" (83.5 bpm)
fastest song: "Limelight" (168 bpm)
longest song: "Limelight" (2:13)
shortest song: "Asbury Park" (1:15)
least words: "Asbury Park" (102)
most words: "Henry's Watch" (210)
instruments used: programming (1 2 3 4), keyboards (2 4), guitar (4)

key: c harmonic minor
tempo: 120 bpm
recorded: 3-10-2024
fun fact: this was made in the record makermatic in warioware d.i.y., which i strongly recommend that you try. it's a wonderful game. also, for the chorus-y bit, i stole that drum pattern from my casio pt-80's rock drum fill (which i didn't know even existed until i saw this)

key: g minor
tempo: 83.5 bpm
recorded: 2-24-2024 - 3-12-2024

i did not write this song

key: c# dorian
tempo: 120 bpm
recorded: 3-12-2024
fun fact: got the idea for this from an oneyplays bit about pokemon c-watches.

henry has an awesome watch
he got it for six dollars
it is made of plastic
it has a familiar face on it
it has a button you can press, and it reads the time for you
and this is what it says:

"the xtc time is: 5 pm. a perfect time of day to make plans for nigel!"

this is handy for henry, because he can't read analog clocks
and he can't read digital clocks either
in fact, henry just can't read

poor kid. but he doesn't need to know how to read to find out what time it is
all he has to do is press that button

"the xtc time is: 8 am. get to know your morning face, 'cause it's time to wake up!"

frankly, this is a bit of a smear campaign on my part
henry actually can read, he's just been showing off his stupid watch every chance that he gets
i think he got jealous of my watch, which is similar to his, but i bought mine first
mine's cooler anyway, 'cause it's made of a matte plastic, and it has thom yorke on it instead

"the radiohead time is: 6 pm. a perfect time to... fuckin'... float down the liffey? i dunno."

key: d lydian (verse), f lydian (elsewhere)
tempo: 168 bpm
recorded: 3-03-2024 - 3-12-2024
fun fact: got into this song after hearing henry's cover of it, subsequently wanted to make my own cover

i did not write this song

amount of swear words: 2
longest word: “commissioned" (Henry's Exciting Birthday Parade)
slowest song: "Henry's Anti-Piracy Screen" (first bit) (115 bpm)
fastest song: "Jibber and Twitch" (184 bpm)
longest song: "Jibber and Twitch" (4:02)
shortest song: "Surrealist Tragedy" (0:46)
least words: "Little Kid SHOCKS Judges by PERFECTLY Performing The Henry Song!" (174)
most words: "Jibber and Twitch" (456)
instruments used: programming (1 2), keyboards (3), otamatone (5)

key: a# mixolydian, d minor
tempo: 184 bpm
recorded: 1-31-2025 - 3-07-2025

i didn't write this song

key: f mixolydian, f minor
tempo: 115 bpm, 161.143 bpm
recorded: 3-06-2025

(nintendo!) (nintendo!)

key: c# mixolydian
tempo: 124 bpm
recorded: 3-07-2025 - 3-09-2025

henry’s dad is the mayor of adventure town, colorado.
this explains a few things about henry, not the least of which being his extreme wealth and bratty demeanor.
every march, henry’s pappy scrapes a few thousand dollars off the top of the city’s funds and throws his boy a big parade.
henry loves to be at the center of the parade, watching the townsfolk clap for him. he feels like the president.
if one year’s party isn’t as good as last years, henry will stomp on the floor and yell “no! no! no!” for 6 hours until dad calms him down with a gold-plated plaque of one of his fictional crushes.
last year, henry’s dad commissioned a 90-foot-long chrono trigger balloon float and had all the bakers in adventure town bake henry a cake that was so big, you could go inside a corridor and end up in a hollow room filled with candy.
i hear that this year, henry’s dad paid the surviving members of cardiacs mk ii to reunite and play all of on land and in the sea front to back. you’ll just have to come visit and see what happens yourself.

key: e major
tempo: 171 bpm
recorded: ?

[i did not write this song, but these lyrics have been confirmed by the songwriter to be correct.]

(let's get this rolling)

this is a song about a guy
named henry
today it is his birthday today
oh yeah
i think he's turning 30 years old
today
which is strange 'cause he still goes to high school
oh no

how
did he get in there
did he hide
his aging wrinkles by his hair
i do not know
he also likes cardiacs
uh

this is a song about a guy named
henry adams
henry is turning 30 today
this is a song about a guy
named henry
henry is turning 30 today
oh yeah

he likes to play games with anime girls in them
and he also really likes those japanese video games where you walk around and you kill monsters
um
um, um

this is a song about a guy
named henry
henry is turning 30 today
oh yay
this is a song about a guy
named henry
this is a song about a guy
named henry

henry
henry

(named henry)
(i put a curse on thee for 30 more years)

key: d# phrygian dominant
tempo: n/a
recorded: 3-10-2025

i did not write this song