i am only going to list items that i own.
| Instrument / Tool | When I got it | Debut | Notable appearance(s) |
| My voice | 2004 | Ben at Home, Dancing to Blur | My Angel, Last Flowers |
| Plaid comforter | Unknown | job | Center of a Wheel |
| Stagg SW201 1/2N | Unknown | UPlant! | Bizarro |
| FL Studio Fruity Edition | c. 2014 | about a cheese | X-Ray Vision |
| BandLab | Fall 2019 | cave | the koel's favorite song |
| Korg Monotron Delay | June 2020 | 3 libby | smile and wave, Sun, I Live in the Ocean |
| Casio MT-240 | December 30 2020 | missing | Game Night with Evelyn, Flags, Simpsonata in E Major, an Original Piece |
| Sony M470 microcassette recorder | October 7 2021 | (no title) | Pollard Noster |
| Casio PT-80 | December 2021 | (no title) | ed, the skaters |
| Casio CT-403 | ~December 2022 | pyrrhic victory | The Cryptid of Rococo Lake |
| Limited Edition David Bowie Stylophone | ~December 2022 | will o' the wisp | N/A |
| Byron Statics KCS-317B tape recorder | ~December 2022 | Introduction to "He Perfect... ...He the Way: Odebook of Simpson" | N/A |
| Turtle kalimba | ~April 2023 | An Island of Donald Trumps | N/A |
| Casio SA-7 | December 25, 2023 | Homeropexy (Feeling Like Homer), a Parody of "lobotomy (feelin' fine)" by Modest Mouse (Dylan) | Homer's Wife is Ours, an Original Piece, scientific paper |
| Casio SK-1 | December 26, 2023 | jackstauber2.wav | B6 - Torn white flag in the wind |
direct all inquiries to lbhf4u@gmail.com.